How Did I Get Here?

Do you ever look at your life and ask yourself this question?

Don’t get me wrong, I have a wonderful life. I’m happily married to my best friend, a mom to truly the sweetest little boy (ask anyone), and I’m surrounded by friends and family who support me in everything I do.

But somewhere along the way, I feel like I lost something.

Somewhere between early mornings with a toddler, 40-hour workweeks that often stretched to 50–60 hours, and the routine of everyday life, the version of me who was always chasing a new idea or hobby slowly got quieter.

I know I’m not in my teens or twenties anymore, but I used to have so many more interests and hobbies. I can remember running or working out every day, learning calligraphy, diving head-first into pastry arts (and even earning a degree in it!), and walking into every room with complete confidence because I loved who I was, so why wouldn’t anyone else?

Over the past five or six years, I’ve felt stuck.

Not stuck in a life I didn’t want or pray for, just stuck in the day-to-day. Not being able to see ahead or even dream. I can’t tell you exactly why this shift happened, age, the slower rhythm of marriage and kids, a toxic job (story for another time), or simply a lack of desire to grow. But I do know that I don’t want to feel this way anymore.